Choice & Direction

Moments of Choice

There are moments when we begin to notice that our intentions, actions, and behaviors play a meaningful role in shaping what unfolds both within and outside of us. We may start to recognize that the path ahead is filled with more possibility than we once realized.

This awareness can appear during major decisions, life transitions, or periods of change. At other times it arises in ways that are more difficult to explain but are deeply felt.

Within these moments, timeless questions often appear:

• Am I on the right path?
• What direction should I take next?
• What kind of life do I want to live?

These existential questions reveal something fundamental about the human condition: our lives unfold, in part, through the choices we make.

Living Among Possibilities

Choice emerges from the possibilities within our lives. Some possibilities feel close at hand — familiar and known — while others remain mysterious, distant, or difficult to imagine.

When we begin to see our existence as a process of opening and closing possible paths, this awareness can evoke a sense of awe, wonder, and mystery. At the same time, it can feel unsettling to recognize that the choices we make may shape our lives in ways we cannot fully predict and only partially control.

Freedom and Responsibility

One of the central existential aspects of being human is that we possess agency, meaning that we have the ability to shape our own lives. Yet this freedom to act within our conditions carries a paradox: to be free also means we are responsible for the choices we make.

In effect, every decision opens one door while closing another. At times we feel this tension within ourselves, experiencing it as hesitation, indecision, overthinking, or anxiety about what might happen as we approach the choices before us.

Coming into authentic contact with our capacity to choose can be both deeply liberating and profoundly awe-inspiring. Yet encountering this freedom also brings us into contact with the weight of the choices we make.

Said another way, the process of becoming includes both our ability to exercise freedom and our willingness to hold the responsibility it creates in our lives.

The Anxiety of Freedom

When we begin to actively explore the choices we face within therapy, we often encounter a particular form of anxiety. The existential philosopher Søren Kierkegaard described this experience as the “dizziness of freedom.”

When we realize that our choices matter and carry weight, we may begin turning possibility after possibility over in our minds. At times we search for stability, almost as if the openness of the future makes us feel momentarily unsteady. A kind of dizziness can emerge within us.

Yet this experience of anxiety can also be deeply meaningful. It carries the recognition that something important is unfolding in our lives — that a choice before us deserves attention, reflection, and perhaps support.

In my work as a psychotherapist, I have come to believe we should be cautious about trying to eliminate anxiety from our lives altogether. A more fruitful path often involves developing a different relationship with it — one that allows anxiety to inform and guide us rather than disrupt us.

The Question of Free Will

At times when we face an important decision, a deeper question can appear: how much of our lives do we truly shape, and how much is determined by circumstances we did not choose?

Philosophers have wrestled with this tension for centuries. Jean-Paul Sartre emphasized that human beings are fundamentally free and therefore responsible for the lives we create. Martin Heidegger, in contrast, reminds us that we are always “thrown” into conditions we did not choose — our history, culture, relationships, bodies, and the time in which we live.

Both insights capture something true about our experience as human beings. We are shaped by forces beyond our control, yet the ways we respond still matters. Our freedom is not absolute, but neither is it absent.

When we begin to recognize this paradox, choice can be experienced differently. Rather than searching for perfect certainty, we begin to engage more honestly with the possibilities that are in front of us.

If this topic interests you, I explore it further in the podcast episode titled The Paradox of Free Will in Therapy.

Awareness and the Experience of Choosing

When we face a difficult choice and slow down enough to pay attention, we often discover that making a decision is not only a mental process but also a bodily one.

Choices are frequently felt within the body — as tension, anticipation, restlessness, or a subtle sense of movement in one direction or another. These sensations can offer important information about how a particular path resonates for us.

As we continue to explore what is present, we may notice curiosity, excitement, fear, hesitation, hope, or even a sense of lightness about what the future might hold. These responses often reveal how different possibilities relate to what we value in our lives.

Over time, what begins as awareness of our full experience gradually builds our capacity to move forward. Following this emerging path is at the heart of how I work as an existential-humanistic therapist.

A Question of What Matters

As we begin exploring the possibilities in front of us, another question often emerges: what truly matters?

This question draws us toward our values — the aspects of life that feel meaningful, worthwhile, and worth committing ourselves to. In many ways, what matters most becomes clearer as we reflect on who we have been, who we are now, and the kind of person we hope to become over time.

When we begin to understand what we value more clearly, our choices often become easier to navigate. Values can provide a kind of orientation — a compass that helps us move through the many possibilities and risks that life presents.

Therapy for Choice and Direction in Eugene, Oregon

If you find yourself questioning the direction of your life, feeling uncertain about a decision ahead, or sensing that something in your life may be ready to change, therapy can offer a place to explore these questions.

I offer therapy for questions of life direction, choice, and decision making in Eugene, Oregon. If you're curious about other areas I work with, you can explore the full range of concerns I address on the Who I Work With page.