Men’s Mental Health

An Invitation

For many men, the hardest part of therapy is the beginning. We often learn not to speak about what troubles us. We stay busy, productive, or immersed in our work. We become experts at surviving but not always at living in a way that feels honest or aligned with our inner self. Over time, as this way of being becomes normal, a subtle numbness can take hold. It is not that we lack an inner emotional world or cannot sense what feels off. More often, we were never encouraged or supported in expressing ourselves honestly and freely.

This silence comes from an inherited expectation that we must hold everything together and do it alone. Reaching out can feel like stepping outside a cultural script we have carried for decades, or even generations. In this sense, beginning therapy can feel like stepping into the unknown.

When I look closely at these struggles—both in my own life and in the lives of the men I work with—I see something deeply existential. Rising rates of depression, loneliness, and suicide among men today reflect this inner crisis. The challenges men face are, at their core, questions of meaning, identity, and belonging.

The existential approach to therapy I practice offers a grounded yet reflective space to explore these themes. If you sense a gap between who you are and who you wish to become, or if you are carrying more than you can easily name, this path may be for you.

Who I Work With

Many of the men I work with describe themselves as thoughtful, analytical, spiritually inclined, creative, or deeply feeling. Some live in their heads, thinking in systems or abstractions. Others experience the world with emotional intensity that can feel overwhelming or hard to express. Many see or sense things that are difficult to articulate to others.

If you tend to reflect, feel deeply, think broadly, or process internally, this work can become a place where your natural way of understanding the world is welcomed rather than constrained.

I offer men’s counseling in person to anyone in Eugene, Springfield, and Lane County. I also work with clients throughout Oregon via online therapy, including those in Portland, Ashland, and Bend.

The Changing Landscape

We are living through a period of accelerated cultural and technological change. The roles that once provided direction to men—such as provider, protector, or leader—have either shifted or disappeared entirely. The institutions and narratives that once gave us a sense of identity no longer offer the clear guidance they once did.

For many, this creates a kind of grief. A feeling that something important has been lost. The old world feels gone before a new one has taken shape. This transition is not only emotional; it is existential.

Change, though uncomfortable, opens new possibilities. When old maps stop working, we are invited, and sometimes required, to create new ones. Yet with possibility comes uncertainty, and with freedom comes the discomfort of the unknown. Therapy can support this process by helping transform ambiguity into clarity, direction, and a deeper sense of agency within your life.

The Erosion of the Self

From a young age, many men internalize a familiar message: be strong, be capable, and do not show vulnerability. This message arises from both our collective history and our cultural expectations. Together, they create patterns that are often rewarded externally yet can slowly erode one’s internal sense of self.

When it feels risky to express what is happening internally, tension begins to build while one’s outward expression remains steady through work, stoicism, humor, or achievement. Over time, these patterns can evolve into:

• irritability
• anger
• emotional withdrawal from oneself and others
• hyper-focus on work, performance, or achievement
• coping through alcohol, drugs, digital stimulation, or isolation
• a persistent sense of emptiness

From an existential perspective, several themes often sit beneath these patterns:

Freedom and Anxiety

Every significant choice carries uncertainty. Anxiety, viewed through this lens, is a natural response to freedom and signals that something meaningful is at stake.

Meaninglessness

When familiar sources of meaning fade, life can begin to feel like a cycle of routines rather than a lived experience. A deeper desire often emerges: to feel connected, engaged, and genuinely alive again.

Identity Collapse

Some men feel as though they are performing a version of themselves. Outwardly they appear competent, yet inwardly they feel disconnected. Therapy becomes a space to explore who you are now and who you are becoming, without pressure to fit a role.

Common Experiences

In my counseling work with men across Eugene, Springfield, and throughout Oregon, several themes appear again and again—often shaping daily life long before they surface in therapy.

The Weight of Performance

Pressures to achieve at work, in relationships, and in daily life can create a persistent sense of inadequacy. This anxiety often operates beneath awareness, shaping decisions and emotions without us realizing it.

Depression and Meaninglessness

Men sometimes experience irritability, anger, exhaustion, or emotional dullness. These experiences often point toward a crisis of meaning rather than a lack of emotional capacity.

Isolation and Loneliness

Over time, distance from oneself or from others can deepen. Anxiety and a sense of moving through life on autopilot may appear alongside this growing disconnect.

Loss of Direction and Purpose

It is common to reach a point where life feels directionless. Work may feel empty. Routines replace purpose. The question What am I doing with my life? begins to surface.

Coping With Existence

Many men turn to coping strategies such as working longer hours, drinking, using substances, overusing digital stimulation, withdrawing, or staying constantly occupied. These strategies offer short-term relief but often compound difficulties over time.

Relationship Challenges

Communication, emotional expression, and navigating conflict can be difficult. Many of the patterns we inherit from culture or family do not provide the skills needed to work through relational tension in a healthy and connected way.

Deeper Existential Concerns

For some—especially those who are highly analytical, introspective, or spiritually oriented—a deeper sense that something is off begins to emerge. This may take many forms but often reflects a fundamental question about one’s life, direction, and the experience of being itself.

What Becomes Possible

Every person’s path is unique, yet many men describe our work together as helping them develop:

• clarity about what matters most
• reduced anxiety, stress, or emotional shutdown
• new ways of coping with the challenges of existence
• a more grounded sense of identity
• renewed meaning in daily life
• more honest and connected relationships
• improved communication and emotional understanding
• greater resilience and capacity for presence

These outcomes are possibilities, not promises, but they reflect the lived experience of many men who choose to do this work.

The Existential Path

My work as an Existential-Humanistic therapist begins with the understanding that you are a reflection of the context of your life. In other words, you are not a problem to fix. You are a person responding to the conditions you have lived through.

This approach is grounded in:

-presence -authenticity -exploration of meaning -attention to lived experience -your capacity for agency and choice

Together, we make room for what has gone unspoken. We explore patterns, values, history, and the parts of your life that feel misaligned or unexpressed. We look at how possibility, responsibility, and inner tension shape your experience—and how you might move toward a more grounded and meaningful way of being.

Men’s Counseling in Eugene and Springfield, Oregon

If you are navigating questions of identity, purpose, or connection, therapy can offer a grounded space to rediscover what matters. Whether you are feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or simply ready to chart a new path in your life, support is available.

If you are curious to learn more about my approach to therapy or the intersection of existential philosophy and mental health, you may find my blog and podcast, The Existential Lens a meaningful companions along the way.