Therapy for Identity & Exploring the Self

Who am I?

Consider the family you were born into. The culture and history that shaped how you think. The language that gave you words for some experiences yet left others without names. The class and religion you inherited or rejected. The body you have. The gender you were assigned. The sexuality that emerged as your own. The places you grew up in, the schools you attended, the trauma you didn't choose.

This space of seeing ourselves clearly for who we are is the territory of identity. Not as a label or a series of boxes to check, but as the living question we take up with each passing day. As a therapist in Eugene, Oregon working within an existential-humanistic framework, I see the questions that circle identity as among the deepest available within therapy. They touch almost everything else, from how you relate to others to what you find meaningful, the choices you make and the future you walk toward.

Self and Other

We tend to think that there is a real self within us, one that exists somewhere underneath the surface of our lives. It's appealing to picture ourselves discovering something solid like this, and it can be a useful exercise, but if we look closely and for long enough, what we find is a far more interesting thing.

Consider a flower and the insect pollinator that visits it. Two beings that live so closely together that the boundary disappears at times. Both shaped by one another through countless eons of time. Neither existing apart from the other. When we begin to think about the self and our identity in this way, the question of who am I? starts to turn into: am I, in truth, a reflection of all the things outside of me?

When we see the natural world in this interconnected way, it becomes clear that this is just as true of our lives, and of who we are. The version of you that exists in this exact moment, reading these words, would not exist without me having written them. The language you speak, the senses your body evolved, your tastes for some foods and not others, your way of laughing — all these things, and many, many more, are woven through you, each one reflecting everything.

Identity Work Within Therapy

Working with identity is possibly the richest territory available to clients in therapy, and yet it is also one of the most challenging. It touches directly into our existential condition, surprisingly quickly. It asks us to look at the very structures that have held our lives together, and to discover what we want to move toward or away from. This is a space the existential-humanistic tradition I work within is fundamentally built on.

This work is like opening a door — one that leads to mysteries and realizations about ourselves that can change everything about who we are. It starts not by reducing your experience to a category, or by rushing to define who you are. It begins by asking the question that started this page.

Who am I?

Therapy for Identity & Exploring the Self in Eugene, Oregon

If something here reflects what you are sitting with, you are welcome to reach out. I offer therapy that works with questions of identity, self, and direction in Eugene, Oregon for both individuals and couples.

You may also want to explore existential questions, life transitions & change, choice & direction, spirituality & inner life, or learn more about who I work with and my approach through existential-humanistic therapy.